A True Sense Of Self.

This blog is not about 'how to' be truly yourself or 'how to' gain a better sense of self. For a high self-esteem is something that is born out of many hours and pain and hard work! And there really is no short cut around this one. There are no '4 easy steps,' or 'One magic secret'. Each person has a unique set of insecurities that they acquired long ago, and developing a good self-esteem, comes from facing each one of those head on. Getting to the root of the problem, until it no longer affect you and your life.

What I felt like writing about today was how to identify a false sense of self; which is born from a perception of lack, and feelings of unworthiness. And another your true self, which is born from a perception of abundance and worthiness.

Sometimes it can be very hard to distinguish between the two. OK, so now I'll tell you why I think it is important to distinguish between the two. It's important for resolving conflict. It's important for you to know where you truly are on the scale of things and it is important for you to identify peoples' behaviours and motives.

For example; How many times has that person who works with you in your office just rubbed you up the wrong way when they boastfully want to give you advice on how to do your job, or when they try to belittle you in front of others? You know, the type of person who knows that they do a good job and LOVES telling everyone else how wonderful he or she thinks they are? Or the type of person who seems so powerful, who goes around intimidating those around them. The person 'You don't want to mess with.'

How would you feel about them if you knew that their behaviour is motivated by a feeling of weakness and fear?

There vulnerability seems so contrary to what they are showing on the outside. Let me tell you this....Nobody who feels good about themselves needs to be; boastful, snobbish, intimidating, rude, judgemental, envious,aggressive, a victim, or a down right bitch! These are all signs of someone who feels; less than, unworthy, insecure,hopeless and defenseless.

A true sense of self, is when you can look in the mirror (naked), and love what you see. When you can admire the person you are, when you can look at your behavioural imperfections and see them as points to grow on. When you can comfortably be happy with where you are at in life and when you can look away from yourself and into the world and be happy with what you see out there.

You can know that you are gaining a truer sense of self if you can identify yourself in this list; you truly are happy when someone gets a promotion, gets married or lives there dreams. You no longer need to compare yourself to others in anyway. You have less opinions of how other people should run their lives. You don't see your failures as a reason to beat up on yourself and give up. You are generally happy with your life. You are grateful more often. You love your body and you are not waiting for someone else to change before you are happy!

Remember there are billions of people on this earth, each one is uniquely different,not just physically but culturally, and with different talents which makes comparing such a big waste of time. I truly believe that if we spent less time measuring ourselves against others, our true selves would grow to immeasurable heights.

Tomorrows article is about why we feel so insecure to begin with! Where does that all come from.