Are we programmed to be fearful and insecure?

Somewhere along the line...(and the line spans over centuries). We humans have traded our true identities in for false ones. For the purpose of this article, I will refer to ones identity as ones consciousness. For our consciousness is nothing more than what we allow in our awareness. And our identity is based on what we identify with in our awareness.

So our beliefs and actions stems from who we think we are. Who we think we are is our identity, and our identity is formed by what we identify with in our past and present awareness. Now this is the catch. What is ‘out there’ is INFINITELY greater than your current awareness. I also know that what is ‘in here’ is INFINITELY greater than your current awareness. I know this by experience, by reading stories of other peoples experiences and because all holy scriptures throughout the ages have always had the same message that, ‘We are made in the image and likeness of our creator’ and that ‘We are powerful beyond measure.’
I also know for sure that we live in a universe of absolute ABUNDANCE. How do I know that? You need only look around you! We were not given one flower to appreciate but thousands. Not just one colour but hundreds. We were not given one sunrise or sunset, not one star to gaze up at. Not one type of animal but thousands . Not one fish but hundreds of thousands. Not one grain of sand, but trillions. We have not one drop of water but oceans, and rivers and lakes and streams. Not just one tree to give shade but thousands. Insects, birds, mountains, beaches, animals, fruit, vegetables, water, flowers, trees, minerals and land etc.
We have an abundance of natural resources on this planet, so many resources that each person can live more than comfortably on this earth. Not only have we been given so much natural resources but also human, the talents and unique capabilities that exists amongst us are immeasurable. We are blessed!

So where does all this fear come from? This consciousness of scarcity? Where does this vision of lack come from? Why do we see all these hopeless situations? Why do we feel powerless, insignificant, less than, and insecure? You need only turn on the TV and pick up the daily newspapers, most religious institutions teach it, listen to the local gossip, or listen to your favourite radio station. It is everywhere! We are being bombarded on a daily basis with negative headlines of FEAR; crises, FEAR, economic depression, FEAR, war, FEAR, crime, FEAR, poverty, FEAR, unemployment and once again FEAR. You are told on a daily basis how you don’t measure up, how you are less than. You are too fat, too poor, not educated enough, the wrong religion, too black or too white, you were born in the wrong country, you have the wrong dress sense you follow the wrong political party, you drive an old car. FEAR! FEAR! FEAR! The only power which they make you believe you have is the power to vote for a particular political party! FEAR!

Do you know that the same headlines of economic crises, depression and war. Were on the front covers of Time magazine and other newspaper headlines in the 1930’s, 1940’s, 1980’s, 1990’s and 2000’s? So what is the difference now? None. Bad news sells. They know that! They know that a newspaper is much more likely to sell if it has headlines of doom, than if it has a headline about how people are saving the rain forest by planting trees! Do you honestly think that these good, humanitarian efforts don’t go on, on a daily basis? They do! A majority of people however are just not interested in hearing about it.

You see we humans have been brainwashed to believe that we are weak, and powerless. And so the best we can do is vote for a particular political party and hope for the best. While in the meantime, we do the only thing we know how to do....ENTERTAIN ourselves! Movies, Ipods, computer games, facebook,fashion magazines, gossip and being mesmerized by bad news. While we put in long hours climbing the corporate ladder, trying to be the best so that hopefully we can feel less insecure about ourselves. But it’s never enough is it? Because they keep telling you, that you aren’t enough, that the world is going into deeper crises. So you must accumulate more, strive more be afraid more.

Do you think this is by accident? Do you not think that someone could have an invested interested in keeping you struggling and entertained. Keeping you mesmerized? Of course you don’t! Who the hell would be interested in you! Insignificant, powerless, insecure you. I’m not much of a conspiracy theorist but I do believe that there are a group of people who are brainwashing us to have a scarcity consciousness. To keep us feeling insecure and little. Because when we don’t believe that we are powerful or that there is enough for everyone; we fight for scraps and then we are content with the scraps we have. And we don’t ask questions as to why many have none, and few have insane amounts of resources. And in exchange they keep us entertained.

And that my dear friends is why 10% of the population earn 90% of all the money, and have all of the power.

A True Sense Of Self.

This blog is not about 'how to' be truly yourself or 'how to' gain a better sense of self. For a high self-esteem is something that is born out of many hours and pain and hard work! And there really is no short cut around this one. There are no '4 easy steps,' or 'One magic secret'. Each person has a unique set of insecurities that they acquired long ago, and developing a good self-esteem, comes from facing each one of those head on. Getting to the root of the problem, until it no longer affect you and your life.

What I felt like writing about today was how to identify a false sense of self; which is born from a perception of lack, and feelings of unworthiness. And another your true self, which is born from a perception of abundance and worthiness.

Sometimes it can be very hard to distinguish between the two. OK, so now I'll tell you why I think it is important to distinguish between the two. It's important for resolving conflict. It's important for you to know where you truly are on the scale of things and it is important for you to identify peoples' behaviours and motives.

For example; How many times has that person who works with you in your office just rubbed you up the wrong way when they boastfully want to give you advice on how to do your job, or when they try to belittle you in front of others? You know, the type of person who knows that they do a good job and LOVES telling everyone else how wonderful he or she thinks they are? Or the type of person who seems so powerful, who goes around intimidating those around them. The person 'You don't want to mess with.'

How would you feel about them if you knew that their behaviour is motivated by a feeling of weakness and fear?

There vulnerability seems so contrary to what they are showing on the outside. Let me tell you this....Nobody who feels good about themselves needs to be; boastful, snobbish, intimidating, rude, judgemental, envious,aggressive, a victim, or a down right bitch! These are all signs of someone who feels; less than, unworthy, insecure,hopeless and defenseless.

A true sense of self, is when you can look in the mirror (naked), and love what you see. When you can admire the person you are, when you can look at your behavioural imperfections and see them as points to grow on. When you can comfortably be happy with where you are at in life and when you can look away from yourself and into the world and be happy with what you see out there.

You can know that you are gaining a truer sense of self if you can identify yourself in this list; you truly are happy when someone gets a promotion, gets married or lives there dreams. You no longer need to compare yourself to others in anyway. You have less opinions of how other people should run their lives. You don't see your failures as a reason to beat up on yourself and give up. You are generally happy with your life. You are grateful more often. You love your body and you are not waiting for someone else to change before you are happy!

Remember there are billions of people on this earth, each one is uniquely different,not just physically but culturally, and with different talents which makes comparing such a big waste of time. I truly believe that if we spent less time measuring ourselves against others, our true selves would grow to immeasurable heights.

Tomorrows article is about why we feel so insecure to begin with! Where does that all come from.

Picking up the pieces and living your dreams.

I’m sure there comes a time in everyone’s life when one has to start a fresh. When the pieces of one’s life just don’t fit anymore. Whether it be one piece or four, things are just not as they used to be and you are left scratching your head thinking , “How did I get here?”
Sometimes things seem to fall apart all at once, sometimes (most of the times) it happens gradually. Until one day you realise that there is no going back, and that there is no clear path forward either. This is the most frustrating point because it feels as if the past has kicked you out into the cold, forcing you out of your cosy comfort zone, forcing you to admit the truth; that you just aren’t that happy anymore. But there you are kicking and screaming to get back in, and although things weren’t that great, anyplace is better than being homeless!!

Reality check: You are out in the cold and dark. You can’t go back and you are clueless as how to move forward. So what do you do now?

Breathe!! That’s step one: Do not underestimate step one as it oxygenates the brain cells!

Step two: Honestly write down what you think went wrong. Remember this is NOT about blaming someone else. It’s about making a true assessment of the situation. Giving up blame allows you to move forward. Playing the victim keeps you powerless and stuck. So what was it? A breakdown in communication? Bad money management? Bad judge of character? Were you over compensating or selfish?
Once you have identified the problem, ask yourself why? If you overcompensated in a relationship was it because you were afraid they wouldn’t stick around ? If you are in debt is it because you have never been taught how to work with money or save? By figuring out what it was, you can take active steps to not repeat the same mistake in the future.

Step three: Get a visual image of what you want your life to look like. Once you have figured out what you do not want, what you would not like to experience in your life; Do not focus on it! Now is the time to focus on what you do want your life to look like. I’m willing to bet that people who did not get the life they dreamed of, did not dream of that life often enough. They say that the mind cannot tell the difference between an imagined event and a real one. I know that when I visualise myself healthy and strong, doing exercises and eating healthy food, I immediately feel a rush of energy, I involuntarily feel my body moving and I feel stronger! Now you just have to keep that picture in mind long enough to move with it.

Step four: Once you have the picture in mind, you have to move with it. Moving with it means that you have to take symbolic actions in the direction of the dream. If you want to go on holiday in Croatia for example; start planning it! Go online to see the sights, check out the local dishes, see which hotels you would like to stay in and check out flight availability for the date you would like to leave. I dreamed of going to Italy and started learning Italian way before it was even a possibility for me to go, but once I got there I could already communicate. In short, in your mind you should be living your dream more than you live the ‘reality’ of your situation.

Caution: There is a part of the brain, mine at least that will caution me to be realistic. Do not listen to it! It is pessimism gift wrapped as realism. Reality is a just a current assessment of a current situation. The problem with our brains is that we get into an unpleasant situation and we think it will always be that way. Wrong! It wasn’t always that way and it doesn’t need to be either.
There is a way out of the cold but it takes a vision and persistence to find the path that’s right for you.