Abracadabra comes from the ancient Aramaic word Avrakadabra meaning 'I create as I speak'. With that in mind lets see how your words can draw in your abundance using The Law Of Attraction!
The only thing that can give power to your desires is your belief. The key to unlocking the power of the spoken word is the belief you have in the words you speak.You could say, 'I am rich, I have an endless supply of money' but if you don't believe it, it will never show up for you! So you might be thinking that you know it isn't true! You know you have very little in your account because you have your bank slip in your hands. Good point! but that is only half of the truth.
What is money the symbol of? Abundance. What does abundance mean? A lot of something. Are you abundant? Absolutely!! Do u know that if you are reading this then you are a very rich person because you own a computer or because you have a job which allows you use of the Internet? In some parts of the world you are super rich! Do you know that your very material make-up is that of abundance? 50 trillion cells! How many strands of hair on your head? up to 140,000! what about molecules? I think you get the picture.
You are also abundant because you have an unlimited supply of natural resources, sunshine, air, water etc. The universe itself is abundant! count the stars, count the flowers, count the animals, counts the grains of sand, count the litres of water. You can't can you?And that is because you are living in absolute abundance.
The problem is that you are not looking and appreciating the abundance, you are only looking at the lack. And your ingratitude is keeping you from experiencing what you think you need to experience, and having what you think you need to have in order to be happy. Ingratitude is a vibration and The Law Of Attraction states that what you focus on (vibrate with) you get! So now that you can see abundance from a different perspective and have opened your field of AWARENESS you can say to yourself, 'I am rich!' *This is very important- Remember that what YOU do not allow in your awareness you CANNOT experience. You can never experience something that you are not aware of (think about it)* You now know that this is a true statement just like, the lack of money showing on your bank statement is temporarily true. True and untrue are two sides of the same coin. You get to choose which side of the coin you want to see. Your words have power, your words backed by your emotions have greater power. You can change your words and emotions by looking for evidence that you already are, what you most want to be.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Journey Of A Lifetime
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| Picture taken by Massimo Bartolucci |
It makes me wonder....If everything moved into place the instant I made a definite decision. Is it the decision itself that holds the power? Is that all we need, to propel our lives forward in any direction we want; a definite decision? A decision made from the heart, not just from the mind. I've made many decisions from my mind that proved futile, but my decisions from my heart always moved into my reality through the avenues of magic.
When I have made a heart felt decision my life transformed before my very eyes revealing a life I could not have imagined. Everyday had something new to offer, every person I met had something important to tell me, moving me closer to the realization of what I wanted.
Could that be the clue for all of us? That reality manifests from our deepest beliefs and heart based decisions.
I think so, at least when I look at my life the evidence is overwhelming! And when I have these experiences I know that they are not ordinary I feel the workings of something greater than myself.
Sometimes I forget this power and I get numbed back into the comfortable dullness of everyday life, life becomes a struggle as I am torn between wanting something and not thinking that I have the capabilities or power to achieve it. That is until I get to a point were I am so tired of the struggle that I decide there and then; enough is enough and just like that, some switch somewhere in this cosmos gets switched on and my life starts moving forward again.
If the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, then that one step has to be your decision, then sit back and watch as your life takes you on an adventure ride with twists and turns you could not have imagined leading you directly to the heart of your dreams.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Secret
What is the law of attraction?
The hit movie and book The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes has taken the world by storm. The book promises something that may at first glance seem pure fantasy. The workings of the over-active imaginations of new age followers. But what is the Law of Attraction? And how does it affect our lives?
As stated in the book The Secret, the LOA is a universal law just like the law of gravity. And even though we do not fully understand how it works (just like we do not understand how exactly electricity works) we can learn how to work with the law to create the changes we want in our lives whatever they may be.
The LOA, is best grasped by using some examples. Has it ever happened to you that one day you find yourself thinking of someone you have not seen in a long time, and you happen to run into them, or they call you that day? Or has it ever happened to you, that someone has given you a gift, and it was exactly what you wanted even though you had not told anybody about it? We’ve all experienced these types of situations, or have heard of them. And we all have felt the thrill, of the moment when it seems as if our thoughts have materialized before our very eyes!!
The LOA states that what you think about with emotion and belief you will attract into your life no matter if it is bad or good.
This law has been said to be known for centuries and has been taught for centuries by all religious discipline. So it is not new stuff it’s actually ancient! We have all heard the words ‘Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you’. One of my favourites is from Matthew 21:22 ’Whatsoever things ye ask for in prayer (thought), believe that he have received and ye shall have those things ye say’ That sums up the LOA. Ask, believe, receive. It is really as simple as that.
I have known of the LOA for many years, but it is only when I watched The Secret that I grasped its full power.
Some of the things I've manifested:
The Secret video, books, a GHD flat iron, a cup of tea, clothing- these are some of the small things.
It was my dream to live in Italy for longer than a year to get to know the people. I wanted to live in luxury (I was unemployed). I had never before been oversees! I set a date to go to Italy, June of the following year. Within two months I went twice. The second time I stayed for almost 2 years. I lived in absolute luxury in 4 star hotel on a beautiful estate. Which included all creature comforts such as room service, daily massages, a personal trainer. I rubbed shoulders with Italian celebs from all sectors; actors, footballers, politicians, T.V presenters, musicians, song writers, even a Noble Laureate.
While there I really wanted to go to Sicily. A few weeks later I was going to Sicily for a week!! I stayed in a 4 star hotel, ate divine food, was the guest of wonderful people, and had my daily massages.
I attracted my wonderful partner. Even before I met him I wrote down his name on a piece of paper, and stuck it into my wish box. He is my Prince Charming, and even looks like the Prince Charming in my fairy tale books! Tall, blond hair and blue eyes. The law says, be SPECIFIC!
And the last big thing I manifested was two business class tickets for my boyfriend and myself, back to Cape Town! Wow!! What a trip!
Each one of these things or experiences, I have never asked anyone directly for. They were my dreams, my thoughts. I just said with conviction that they would happen. And it did!
There are however things that I have wanted for a long time which I have not yet manifested. But they are my manifesting blocks. I will speak about that later…Right now let’s get you manifesting!!
How to use the secret:
There are 3 parts to the LOA: Ask, believe, receive.
Ask: This is easy your asking is just your deep desire. Your wish, something you long for. You don’t have to ask out aloud. However there the is a way to ask. State your wish in the present tense. As if you have received or are in the process of receiving what you want. ‘ …..is now coming to me’ or ‘I am going to Spain!’ Now lets power charge that statement. Let’s imagine you just won the lottery. What would you be feeling at the moment? which emotion would be over-riding your system. Close your eyes! It would be the feeling of extreme gratitude. Get to this place and you can manifest within milliseconds. So to really charge your affirmation say: ‘Thank you!!! Thank you that such and such is now mine’ ‘Wooohooo!’ or you could just say a sincere ‘Thank you’.
Believe: This is where the LOA gets a bit tricky. It is very difficult for us to believe what we cannot see. We live in a world that encourages and rewards left brain thinkers, logical people. And quite frankly believing something that has not happened yet and acting as it were true is not very..well..LOGICAL. I encourage you to read stories of other peoples success with the LOA. Go to the secret website http://www.thesecret.tv/ or other sites. The Secret teachers teach that you should first try to attract something small. Something that you will have no inner resistance to attracting. Something small but specific that you would definitely recognize when you see it. Let’s say for example a certain book, or a specific bag. Once you have manifested this , your belief in the process will grow. If you are religious, what does your religion teach you about faith. If you aren’t very spiritually inclined, then do some scientific research. You would be surprised what the Sciences are discovering. Find out about Quantum Science and Noetic science. We always think that if something is true we would know about it. Well if you do just a little research you’ll discover that this information has always been known, just not by a great mass of people. Any truth or information seems crazy at the beginning until it receives popularity. You would have been killed before if you’d said that the earth is round! Why? Because people believed their physical senses to determine reality. !!
Receive: This is basically putting yourself in alignment with what you want. How would you feel if you knew that what you wanted was now on its way to you? You wouldn’t be worrying or calculating. You wouldn’t be thinking , ‘How is this going to come about?’ You’d let go. You’d relax and you’d be happy knowing that the situation is resolved. Think about what you’d look like in your new car! Think about how you are going to spend your money. Think about what it what feel like to be healthy and fit!
Most of the time, I wouldn’t have to do any actions to manifest what I wanted. For the small things, it seemed enough to think about them. But sometimes you will have to take inspired actions. If you are scheming and manipulating to get what you want then you won’t manifest with much results. Why? because your actions are motivated by fear. These types of actions are based in fear and not empowerment. And the LOA states that like attracts like.
Right action, is the actions you take in preparing for the eventuality of what is about to happen. It may be as small a step as buying yourself a new suit to start as your first day at work! I believed that I was going to Italy, and so I went onto the Internet, I made friends with Italian people, knowing that I would like to have some contacts when I get there. I started studying the language, because I knew I needed to communicate. I checked out the tourist sites. I familiarized myself with this place I wanted to call home. That’s it!! I wanted it, I came to believe in the possibility of it, and I took small actions towards my dream. I did whatever I could from my present position.
Blocks to manifesting:
Now this would be the easiest thing to do for anybody on this earth if it wasn’t for one thing. Our beliefs. If you are doing all the three step, or find your struggling to concentrate. It is because you have an unconscious block to manifesting that which you want.
Is money what you really want, to feel secure and be free? Yet you always seem to be living from paycheck to pay check? Examine what beliefs you hold, that have been passed down to you from your parents or family members. Maybe the belief that life is hard? Money doesn’t grow on trees? You have to work hard to have a little success? Did you believe that people who had money were lucky to be born in that family? Or do you believe that they have money because they have the right connections?
What about Prince Charming? Do you long to be loved by a man who treats you like a princess? Or have a relationship where there is mutual respect? What are your beliefs about Prince Charming? That he only exists in fairy tales?
How about the fact that you maybe don’t think you are that wonderful to begin with! I mean with all your imperfections, what Prince would want you? Do you see how we contradict ourselves by what we want and say we want. With what we believe and what we say we believe. When you cannot manifest something it is because you are contradicting yourself. Your beliefs, words and actions are not congruent.
The only thing needed to manifest is to be congruent on all levels.
Another tip to manifesting is gratitude. Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful that the power exists and be grateful that, what you have asked for is now coming to you!!!!
FEEL IT, IT IS HERE!!! (South African slogan for the 2010 world cup soccer. It was a great success) No wonder why ;-)
Happy Manifesting!
p.s If you have any questions leave me a comment!
The hit movie and book The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes has taken the world by storm. The book promises something that may at first glance seem pure fantasy. The workings of the over-active imaginations of new age followers. But what is the Law of Attraction? And how does it affect our lives?
As stated in the book The Secret, the LOA is a universal law just like the law of gravity. And even though we do not fully understand how it works (just like we do not understand how exactly electricity works) we can learn how to work with the law to create the changes we want in our lives whatever they may be.
The LOA, is best grasped by using some examples. Has it ever happened to you that one day you find yourself thinking of someone you have not seen in a long time, and you happen to run into them, or they call you that day? Or has it ever happened to you, that someone has given you a gift, and it was exactly what you wanted even though you had not told anybody about it? We’ve all experienced these types of situations, or have heard of them. And we all have felt the thrill, of the moment when it seems as if our thoughts have materialized before our very eyes!!
The LOA states that what you think about with emotion and belief you will attract into your life no matter if it is bad or good.
This law has been said to be known for centuries and has been taught for centuries by all religious discipline. So it is not new stuff it’s actually ancient! We have all heard the words ‘Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you’. One of my favourites is from Matthew 21:22 ’Whatsoever things ye ask for in prayer (thought), believe that he have received and ye shall have those things ye say’ That sums up the LOA. Ask, believe, receive. It is really as simple as that.
I have known of the LOA for many years, but it is only when I watched The Secret that I grasped its full power.
Some of the things I've manifested:
The Secret video, books, a GHD flat iron, a cup of tea, clothing- these are some of the small things.
It was my dream to live in Italy for longer than a year to get to know the people. I wanted to live in luxury (I was unemployed). I had never before been oversees! I set a date to go to Italy, June of the following year. Within two months I went twice. The second time I stayed for almost 2 years. I lived in absolute luxury in 4 star hotel on a beautiful estate. Which included all creature comforts such as room service, daily massages, a personal trainer. I rubbed shoulders with Italian celebs from all sectors; actors, footballers, politicians, T.V presenters, musicians, song writers, even a Noble Laureate.
While there I really wanted to go to Sicily. A few weeks later I was going to Sicily for a week!! I stayed in a 4 star hotel, ate divine food, was the guest of wonderful people, and had my daily massages.
I attracted my wonderful partner. Even before I met him I wrote down his name on a piece of paper, and stuck it into my wish box. He is my Prince Charming, and even looks like the Prince Charming in my fairy tale books! Tall, blond hair and blue eyes. The law says, be SPECIFIC!
And the last big thing I manifested was two business class tickets for my boyfriend and myself, back to Cape Town! Wow!! What a trip!
Each one of these things or experiences, I have never asked anyone directly for. They were my dreams, my thoughts. I just said with conviction that they would happen. And it did!
There are however things that I have wanted for a long time which I have not yet manifested. But they are my manifesting blocks. I will speak about that later…Right now let’s get you manifesting!!
How to use the secret:
There are 3 parts to the LOA: Ask, believe, receive.
Ask: This is easy your asking is just your deep desire. Your wish, something you long for. You don’t have to ask out aloud. However there the is a way to ask. State your wish in the present tense. As if you have received or are in the process of receiving what you want. ‘ …..is now coming to me’ or ‘I am going to Spain!’ Now lets power charge that statement. Let’s imagine you just won the lottery. What would you be feeling at the moment? which emotion would be over-riding your system. Close your eyes! It would be the feeling of extreme gratitude. Get to this place and you can manifest within milliseconds. So to really charge your affirmation say: ‘Thank you!!! Thank you that such and such is now mine’ ‘Wooohooo!’ or you could just say a sincere ‘Thank you’.
Believe: This is where the LOA gets a bit tricky. It is very difficult for us to believe what we cannot see. We live in a world that encourages and rewards left brain thinkers, logical people. And quite frankly believing something that has not happened yet and acting as it were true is not very..well..LOGICAL. I encourage you to read stories of other peoples success with the LOA. Go to the secret website http://www.thesecret.tv/ or other sites. The Secret teachers teach that you should first try to attract something small. Something that you will have no inner resistance to attracting. Something small but specific that you would definitely recognize when you see it. Let’s say for example a certain book, or a specific bag. Once you have manifested this , your belief in the process will grow. If you are religious, what does your religion teach you about faith. If you aren’t very spiritually inclined, then do some scientific research. You would be surprised what the Sciences are discovering. Find out about Quantum Science and Noetic science. We always think that if something is true we would know about it. Well if you do just a little research you’ll discover that this information has always been known, just not by a great mass of people. Any truth or information seems crazy at the beginning until it receives popularity. You would have been killed before if you’d said that the earth is round! Why? Because people believed their physical senses to determine reality. !!
Receive: This is basically putting yourself in alignment with what you want. How would you feel if you knew that what you wanted was now on its way to you? You wouldn’t be worrying or calculating. You wouldn’t be thinking , ‘How is this going to come about?’ You’d let go. You’d relax and you’d be happy knowing that the situation is resolved. Think about what you’d look like in your new car! Think about how you are going to spend your money. Think about what it what feel like to be healthy and fit!
Most of the time, I wouldn’t have to do any actions to manifest what I wanted. For the small things, it seemed enough to think about them. But sometimes you will have to take inspired actions. If you are scheming and manipulating to get what you want then you won’t manifest with much results. Why? because your actions are motivated by fear. These types of actions are based in fear and not empowerment. And the LOA states that like attracts like.
Right action, is the actions you take in preparing for the eventuality of what is about to happen. It may be as small a step as buying yourself a new suit to start as your first day at work! I believed that I was going to Italy, and so I went onto the Internet, I made friends with Italian people, knowing that I would like to have some contacts when I get there. I started studying the language, because I knew I needed to communicate. I checked out the tourist sites. I familiarized myself with this place I wanted to call home. That’s it!! I wanted it, I came to believe in the possibility of it, and I took small actions towards my dream. I did whatever I could from my present position.
Blocks to manifesting:
Now this would be the easiest thing to do for anybody on this earth if it wasn’t for one thing. Our beliefs. If you are doing all the three step, or find your struggling to concentrate. It is because you have an unconscious block to manifesting that which you want.
Is money what you really want, to feel secure and be free? Yet you always seem to be living from paycheck to pay check? Examine what beliefs you hold, that have been passed down to you from your parents or family members. Maybe the belief that life is hard? Money doesn’t grow on trees? You have to work hard to have a little success? Did you believe that people who had money were lucky to be born in that family? Or do you believe that they have money because they have the right connections?
What about Prince Charming? Do you long to be loved by a man who treats you like a princess? Or have a relationship where there is mutual respect? What are your beliefs about Prince Charming? That he only exists in fairy tales?
How about the fact that you maybe don’t think you are that wonderful to begin with! I mean with all your imperfections, what Prince would want you? Do you see how we contradict ourselves by what we want and say we want. With what we believe and what we say we believe. When you cannot manifest something it is because you are contradicting yourself. Your beliefs, words and actions are not congruent.
The only thing needed to manifest is to be congruent on all levels.
Another tip to manifesting is gratitude. Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful that the power exists and be grateful that, what you have asked for is now coming to you!!!!
FEEL IT, IT IS HERE!!! (South African slogan for the 2010 world cup soccer. It was a great success) No wonder why ;-)
Happy Manifesting!
p.s If you have any questions leave me a comment!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Graveyard Blues
I'm broken. I'm broken with nothing left to give. I have nothing more to give. And it’s ok for me to feel broken. I don’t need to excuse it or hide it, pretending I’m not.
My only fear now is if I’ll always stay broken? Will I always have nothing to give? Is broken my new identity? Or was it always my identity?
I know where I am. I know what I have to do, but do I have the strength to pull myself through? Well not now. No. I am now in the pit and I need to stay here for a while. This place is where I need to be.
Amongst the dirt and the stench. It’s what I’m most afraid of. This is it. This is it....I couldn’t go deeper than this. This is rock bottom, and I need to feel it.
It can’t kill. It can’t kill me. It isn’t pleasant. It’s ugly, but it’s here in the pit, that I have my skeletons of false beliefs, my demons of fear . I couldn’t resurrect them by standing at the tomb stone, and reading their names; Unworthy, Stupid, Unwanted, Powerless. Skeletons and demons need to be resurrected by going down, down really deep down into the pit.
It’s dark down here. Dark, wet, dirty, scary and sad. So many bones I’d never thought I’d see again. They have no substance anymore, the worms had their way with the flesh. They don’t seem as strong as they used to. But they are still here. Their spirits, a black cloud over my head.
I had to find all the strength I had to come down here, to face them head on. I dug my way down with my nails. It took me years but now I am here....and I won’t leave....I won’t go. I can’t go. Not until I face each one of those skeletons and demons. And tell them what I came down here to say:
I’m broken. But I am still here. You did not kill me.
And now, I will stay down here with you. I will sit here with you in the dirt and the decay, unmoved, looking you square in the face.
Untill it dawns upon you; That someone who has lost everything, has also lost their fear.
You are now looking at your worst nightmare.
by Tarryn Tomlinson
by Tarryn Tomlinson
Friday, July 23, 2010
Dreams
All people dream but not equally.
Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind
Wake in the morning to find that it was vanity.
But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people,
For they dream their dreams with open eyes,
And make them come true.
by D.H. Lawrence
Thursday, July 22, 2010
New Age Nonsense
Hokes pokes, magic smagic, new age mumbo jumbo! Close your eyes, visualize, pretend that you are great!
Look rich, act the part, even if you don’t have a cent, pretend that you live in luxury even if there’s no money to pay the rent!
Love your neighbor; give her praise, even if she’s a bitch. These are just a few of the tricks to help you to get rich!
Love your neighbor; give her praise, even if she’s a bitch. These are just a few of the tricks to help you to get rich!
Imagine yourself, living in perfect health, even if you have a tumour growing in your lung. And when you are laying there in your sick bed please...for heaven’s sake don’t look so glum!
Pretend that you don’t have a care, when you know that your husband is having an affair. Think a beautiful thought of him every day, to prevent him, from slipping away.
Those are not wrinkles on your face!! They are laughing lines, signifying grace. You have been well informed of your spiritual worth, and you do know that this is heaven on earth? Oh no?!
Well, then we must proceed to change the books you read. I have a list of eBooks, on xp, that I could borrow you if you need?
Hokes Pokes, magic smagic, those author’s all say the same. They want to delude us; into thinking that we are Gods’ and life is just a big cosmic game!
I hope you are smiling? I am, and it maybe of some surprise to you to know that I am one of those people who believes in the new age mumbo jumbo. I have read the books, visualised, affirmed, and prayed, chanted, said invocations. Burnt incent sticks, mixed aromatherapy oils; I have studied Japanese energy medicine. Took concoctions that tasted like…..I’d rather not say. Been poked, stuck with needles, I’ve had my chakra’s balanced, I’ve had my polar energies aligned, and then realigned, I’ve been on diets consisting of all raw, natural food, and I have consumed in my lifetime, about 50 gallons of green tea (I have no idea how much a gallon is, but it sounds alot). And why? I was in the pursuit of health, happiness, dreams, magic and romance. Was it worth it? Absolutely!
Life before all the Hokes Pokes was just hard and getting harder. I couldn’t understand who I was nor why I was on this earth. Neither could I understand why I or anybody else had to suffer. What was it all for? Was God trying to play a cruel trick on us? Was I being punished? Was there even a God to begin with?
Well I got my answers slowing but surely. Consistently studying the different forms of healing and the different modalities of prayer and self-study was like peeling back the layers of an onion. The outer layers representing the physical manifestations of our lives whether pleasant or not. The middle layers representing the beliefs and thoughts that we have about ourselves and life which subsequently creates the outer layers . And the inner core representing the formless heart of all creations; past, present and future. The inner stillness that has the power to change any of the other levels instantly. The road of self-discovery is not an easy one. There are so many different ways from which to approach it. Apart from that there are also many unpleasant things back there that we really don’t want to deal with. So why would anybody willingly go look for the pain? Ouch! Well most of us don’t want to deal with it and so we block it out and develop our coping mechanisms. Whether it be smoking, drinking, neurotic obsessions with being thin or beautiful or keeping our houses clean, being judgemental, over-eating etc.
Some of us although, dare to go down the road of self discovery, and what we discover is that life is nothing like what we had previously thought. And the work of self discovery is never done. By coming to understanding who we are, we begin to see our relationship to life and other people in a different light. But the real ah-ha moment comes when we begin to grasp that we participate in the creation of our lives. When we begin to understand that we are not victims but that we have carefully constructed our lives to be exactly as it is (even if we did it unconsciously). Everything in our lives is there because of a belief that we hold, and once we discover that belief and challenge it, effortlessly our lives will begin to change.
One of my greatest stumbling blocks on the road was thinking that there was a ‘right way to do this’ That there was a certain ‘thing’ to do and that if I wasn’t doing it then I wasn’t going to get the results I wanted. This caused me a lot of stress and actually has been counterproductive in producing the results I wanted. Well there is no one way to self discovery! Now I’m learning to trust my intuition completely. We are all different and complex and the self healing path too, is unique to each person and is complex.
For example, If I don’t feel like being in the presence of a certain person it means that they aren’t good for me in that moment in time, and that I should trust my guidance and stay away from them. Before I would have allowed myself to be in their presence so that I could learn to accept them or to be a good friend etc. But this never worked for me! I’d always leave more frustrated and think, ‘why did I just not stay away?’ Love they neighbour is a lesson we would all be better off learning, but I’ve realised that if I’m not feeling up for it, then it means I’m not ready!! And that’s ok!!! I’ll learn that lesson at a different time and space when I am ready.
The road to self discovery is more than being about drinking herbal teas, chanting, yoga and balancing chakras is about being true to yourself. Every step of the way.
‘Follow your heart’ is a phrase I’ve heard many times before and I’m dedicated to do that no matter where my heart may lead or whether it makes me popular or not.
Hokes Pokes Magic Smagic....roll it off your tongue. Alice fell down the rabbit hole and my journey’s just begun.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
5 Things single girls do which stops a budding romance from blossoming
So you are intelligent, pretty, funny, you have a good dress sense, and still can’t seem to have a lasting relationship?
There are obviously a 101 reasons why things do not make it past the initial stage. We are all complex creatures and no one woman can satisfy the needs of every man . So the bitter pill to swallow is that, if it didn’t work past a certain stage; He’s just not that into you! Watched the movie? Read the book? Read it again. No problem! Get over it, move on. Not all guys are worth your time either. And any guy that isn’t giving you the time, is not worth yours. I don’t care how appealing, caring, funny, charming, rich or ‘nice’ he is. Now before any 5 ‘things’ are discussed, it is important for all girls to do one thing. If you can do this one thing, you can bypass all tips and steps. Are you ready for it girls? LOVE YOURSELVES.
I don’t mean conceit, as conceit is just a cover-up for insecurities. I mean accept and appreciate every good and bad part of your being. See yourself as a work in progress and thank God that you have so much to be grateful for. You see I've learnt at the University of Hard- Knocks that when you don’t love yourself, you don’t develop emotional intelligence (E.Q). Girls who have low E.Q's engage in behaviours such as these.
• Settle for a half decent man because she doesn’t want to be alone.
• Settle for a man who is with another woman but who promises her she is the only one for him. (Does that even make sense?)
• Settles for a man who promises her the world but delivers nothing or very little.
• Settles for a man who lies or cheats. If he does one or the other; he is doing both.
• Settles for a man who is emotionally unavailable.
• Settles for a man who buys her everything, but is dating her on his terms. And lets her know who’s the boss.
• Settles for a man who abuses her in any way; physically, emotionally and mentally.
You can be as intelligent as a rocket scientist but if you don’t have emotional intelligence, your smarts count for nothing. A girl (or guy) who doesn’t love herself can do some crazy things because she is not driven by logic, but by her primal need to be loved. So let your primary relationship be with yourself, accept, love and respect yourself and you will find yourself attracting into your life someone who treats you the same way.
That being said. You meet a guy, you hit it off instantly. There is a good flow of conversation, he seems genuinely interested in what you have to say, and you feel the same. You discover you see eye to eye on so many things. He starts flirting (great sign) and you return the favour. He promises to call you the next day, and he does! This call leads to a second and third date, everything is going GREAT and you think that this man is almost definitely ‘The One’.
Mistake no. 1
Don’t make him ‘The One’ while you are still ‘a possibility’.
When women get to this stage of the dating game we are pretty sure of our instincts. The guy is giving all the right signs, and it is obvious that there is a strong connection between you two. You might even call it love at first sight! The truth is that we women see ‘forever after’ way sooner than our male friends. A guy might meet you spend a lot of time with you and still see you as a very interesting person who he could possibly want to spend more time with. And as hard as it maybe to accept he might still be seeing other women, while sharing these warm fussy feelings with you. There are even some men who date a woman for years and still see her as a possibilty. You see in his mind he is still going through the sorting process. He is still a single man who is gathering information, and weighing up his options. Some men conveniently gather information for long periods of time.
So then why do we run to commit ourselves when there are so many men to enjoy!! I don’t mean sleeping around. I mean date other guys! Enjoy their company! Enjoy the flirting! Have fun!! You are not in a relationship so stop acting like it! You might wonder how this will affect your ‘potential relationship’? This is not about making the potential guy jealous. It’s about you not making a ‘potential’, ‘The One’ and it’s about you enjoying your life. And the truth is; this is wildly attractive to a man to any man. Unless of course he’s a controlling loser, in which case it’s better to get rid of him sooner than later.
Word to the wise: Never commit yourself to a man who has not asked you to be his girlfriend or who has not made it clear that he would like to take it to the next level, in which case feel free to ask him for clarity.
Mistake no. 2
Do not chase him!
Let the guy come to you, out of his own. Men are hunters, it’s in their D.N.A. Do not chase him under any circumstances. And stop making excuses for him! I’ve been down this road many times before. His phone got lost/stolen/ended up in his fish tank? There are public phones. He said you must call him? If he’s interested he’ll make the effort. He’s shy? Most men fear being rejected. But any guy will tell you; If he is interested enough he’ll make the move. Let him do the work at the beginning. I know a lot of the times we want to believe that this guy likes us so much that we are willing to believe any story but if he isn’t chasing he isn’t interested. Now let’s pretend for a moment that this guy really does like you, but is really, really super busy. Don’t you think that your constant calling can be a bit irritating when he is trying to get his work done? Think about it.
Mistake no.3
Do not reassure him!
So your potential guy asks you if you are going out on Saturday, and you respond ‘Yes, I am’, he asks with whom and you respond, ‘Oh, don’t worry it’s just friends. It’s a girls night!’ and then start giving a list of your girlfriends names. Or even worse you say ‘ Why do you want to do something? I can cancel?’ WRONG !! WRONG!!
If you are going out with friends then tell him the truth but do not be apologetic about it. You don’t owe him anything. If you have made plans with your girlfriends, don’t make it sound of less importance and do not cancel your appointments just because he is available. A guy loves a bit of a challenge, at least at the beginning of a relationship. Keep the mystery, keep him guessing a bit. As confirmed by my boyfriend; a man doesn’t like to be too secure at beginning. Please do not be fooled by the guy who acts offended by the fact that you would rather spend time with other people than him. His insecurities are his problem.
Mistake no.4
Don’t talk about problems and don’t over talk! So many girls bitch and moan, and quite frankly men don’t want to hear about it all the time! This is the stage in the relationship where you are getting to know each other, through the discovery of your pasts. And not everyone’s past is pleasant. Speak about it, but don’t harp on it. Tell your truth honestly but end it on a up -beat note. Also don’t moan and bitch about other girls and the people at work, and the weather and the crime rate!!! We all want to be with someone who can brighten our day. Guys think like this; ‘If she finds fault with everything else around her. Imagine what she’ll be like when she is in an serious relationship and starts discovering my faults!’ Leave gossip and analysing problems for your nights with your best friend. Be a good conversationalist. Make someone comfortable and happy to be in your presence. And they’ll keep coming back for more.
Mistake no.5
Don’t get sooo heavy!
This is a new guy. He isn’t all your exes stuffed into one pants, so don’t make him pay for their mistakes (or seen as you chose your exes, I should say your mistakes ;-)). He wasn’t the one who cheated behind your back with your close friend, so he doesn’t need to hear how you think that all men are lying bastards. Keep it light! Have fun with him. Keep the exes out of it!
You are Devine! You are simply wonderful ! Fall in love with you! And enjoy this ever so short trip called life. And before you know it...I mean in the blink of an eye. There will be so many possibilities knocking at Your Door!! And then you can choose what is best for you.
Lots of love xxxx
There are obviously a 101 reasons why things do not make it past the initial stage. We are all complex creatures and no one woman can satisfy the needs of every man . So the bitter pill to swallow is that, if it didn’t work past a certain stage; He’s just not that into you! Watched the movie? Read the book? Read it again. No problem! Get over it, move on. Not all guys are worth your time either. And any guy that isn’t giving you the time, is not worth yours. I don’t care how appealing, caring, funny, charming, rich or ‘nice’ he is. Now before any 5 ‘things’ are discussed, it is important for all girls to do one thing. If you can do this one thing, you can bypass all tips and steps. Are you ready for it girls? LOVE YOURSELVES.
I don’t mean conceit, as conceit is just a cover-up for insecurities. I mean accept and appreciate every good and bad part of your being. See yourself as a work in progress and thank God that you have so much to be grateful for. You see I've learnt at the University of Hard- Knocks that when you don’t love yourself, you don’t develop emotional intelligence (E.Q). Girls who have low E.Q's engage in behaviours such as these.
• Settle for a half decent man because she doesn’t want to be alone.
• Settle for a man who is with another woman but who promises her she is the only one for him. (Does that even make sense?)
• Settles for a man who promises her the world but delivers nothing or very little.
• Settles for a man who lies or cheats. If he does one or the other; he is doing both.
• Settles for a man who is emotionally unavailable.
• Settles for a man who buys her everything, but is dating her on his terms. And lets her know who’s the boss.
• Settles for a man who abuses her in any way; physically, emotionally and mentally.
You can be as intelligent as a rocket scientist but if you don’t have emotional intelligence, your smarts count for nothing. A girl (or guy) who doesn’t love herself can do some crazy things because she is not driven by logic, but by her primal need to be loved. So let your primary relationship be with yourself, accept, love and respect yourself and you will find yourself attracting into your life someone who treats you the same way.
That being said. You meet a guy, you hit it off instantly. There is a good flow of conversation, he seems genuinely interested in what you have to say, and you feel the same. You discover you see eye to eye on so many things. He starts flirting (great sign) and you return the favour. He promises to call you the next day, and he does! This call leads to a second and third date, everything is going GREAT and you think that this man is almost definitely ‘The One’.
Mistake no. 1
Don’t make him ‘The One’ while you are still ‘a possibility’.
When women get to this stage of the dating game we are pretty sure of our instincts. The guy is giving all the right signs, and it is obvious that there is a strong connection between you two. You might even call it love at first sight! The truth is that we women see ‘forever after’ way sooner than our male friends. A guy might meet you spend a lot of time with you and still see you as a very interesting person who he could possibly want to spend more time with. And as hard as it maybe to accept he might still be seeing other women, while sharing these warm fussy feelings with you. There are even some men who date a woman for years and still see her as a possibilty. You see in his mind he is still going through the sorting process. He is still a single man who is gathering information, and weighing up his options. Some men conveniently gather information for long periods of time.
So then why do we run to commit ourselves when there are so many men to enjoy!! I don’t mean sleeping around. I mean date other guys! Enjoy their company! Enjoy the flirting! Have fun!! You are not in a relationship so stop acting like it! You might wonder how this will affect your ‘potential relationship’? This is not about making the potential guy jealous. It’s about you not making a ‘potential’, ‘The One’ and it’s about you enjoying your life. And the truth is; this is wildly attractive to a man to any man. Unless of course he’s a controlling loser, in which case it’s better to get rid of him sooner than later.
Word to the wise: Never commit yourself to a man who has not asked you to be his girlfriend or who has not made it clear that he would like to take it to the next level, in which case feel free to ask him for clarity.
Mistake no. 2
Do not chase him!
Let the guy come to you, out of his own. Men are hunters, it’s in their D.N.A. Do not chase him under any circumstances. And stop making excuses for him! I’ve been down this road many times before. His phone got lost/stolen/ended up in his fish tank? There are public phones. He said you must call him? If he’s interested he’ll make the effort. He’s shy? Most men fear being rejected. But any guy will tell you; If he is interested enough he’ll make the move. Let him do the work at the beginning. I know a lot of the times we want to believe that this guy likes us so much that we are willing to believe any story but if he isn’t chasing he isn’t interested. Now let’s pretend for a moment that this guy really does like you, but is really, really super busy. Don’t you think that your constant calling can be a bit irritating when he is trying to get his work done? Think about it.
Mistake no.3
Do not reassure him!
So your potential guy asks you if you are going out on Saturday, and you respond ‘Yes, I am’, he asks with whom and you respond, ‘Oh, don’t worry it’s just friends. It’s a girls night!’ and then start giving a list of your girlfriends names. Or even worse you say ‘ Why do you want to do something? I can cancel?’ WRONG !! WRONG!!
If you are going out with friends then tell him the truth but do not be apologetic about it. You don’t owe him anything. If you have made plans with your girlfriends, don’t make it sound of less importance and do not cancel your appointments just because he is available. A guy loves a bit of a challenge, at least at the beginning of a relationship. Keep the mystery, keep him guessing a bit. As confirmed by my boyfriend; a man doesn’t like to be too secure at beginning. Please do not be fooled by the guy who acts offended by the fact that you would rather spend time with other people than him. His insecurities are his problem.
Mistake no.4
Don’t talk about problems and don’t over talk! So many girls bitch and moan, and quite frankly men don’t want to hear about it all the time! This is the stage in the relationship where you are getting to know each other, through the discovery of your pasts. And not everyone’s past is pleasant. Speak about it, but don’t harp on it. Tell your truth honestly but end it on a up -beat note. Also don’t moan and bitch about other girls and the people at work, and the weather and the crime rate!!! We all want to be with someone who can brighten our day. Guys think like this; ‘If she finds fault with everything else around her. Imagine what she’ll be like when she is in an serious relationship and starts discovering my faults!’ Leave gossip and analysing problems for your nights with your best friend. Be a good conversationalist. Make someone comfortable and happy to be in your presence. And they’ll keep coming back for more.
Mistake no.5
Don’t get sooo heavy!
This is a new guy. He isn’t all your exes stuffed into one pants, so don’t make him pay for their mistakes (or seen as you chose your exes, I should say your mistakes ;-)). He wasn’t the one who cheated behind your back with your close friend, so he doesn’t need to hear how you think that all men are lying bastards. Keep it light! Have fun with him. Keep the exes out of it!
You are Devine! You are simply wonderful ! Fall in love with you! And enjoy this ever so short trip called life. And before you know it...I mean in the blink of an eye. There will be so many possibilities knocking at Your Door!! And then you can choose what is best for you.
Lots of love xxxx
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